“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

— Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

I have to relearn a lot of things.

I’ve taken my anger out on the wrong people and mistaken foolish behavior as how the world works.

I’ve seen generosity used as manipulation.

I’ve seen good deeds with strings attached.

I have to re-learn how to be an adult and how I think of others.

I didn’t know compassion could replace anger.

I’m having a hard time processing that you can feel sadness for those who harm you — not because you’re weak, but because God is trying to teach them something through your endurance. That’s heavy.

I’m getting used to the fact that you don’t have to prove yourself to people who believe lies about you.

You don’t have to explain your heart to someone who’s already made up their mind.

When your life is full of deception and the Lord comes in to turn darkness into His righteousness — it hurts.

A part of you is dying.

Not the part that people admired — but the part that kept you numb.

That brought you comfort and familiarity.

But that part’s got to go if God is going to take over.

And He will take over — if you let Him.

If your mind isn’t calm when thinking about something, it’s hard for God to work with you.

When you have to over-explain or over-extend yourself to be accepted, something is seriously wrong.

You’re not being your authentic self.

When God works through you, very few words are needed.

Opening: Back in 1995, I picked up two John Coltrane albums that would end up changing my entire approach to music: Giant Steps and A Love Supreme: Live. I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but these albums would awaken something deeper than musical inspiration. They introduced me to the idea that music wasn’t just sound. It could be spirit.

The Shift: I had always been drawn to intense, heavy music. But the moment A Love Supreme started, I felt something entirely different. Coltrane’s tone wasn’t just articulate—it was sacred. Patient. It felt like he was saying a prayer with every breath he blew into that sax. It didn’t hit me in the head or the ears first. It hit me straight in the soul.

And that was just Part I.

The Breakthrough: By the time Part II kicked in, I was floored. McCoy Tyner, Elvin Jones, and Jimmy Garrison created this space that felt completely outside of time. I remember literally crying the first time I heard it. And not just once. That piece has brought tears many times since.

What they played wasn’t just jazz. It was testimony. It was worship. It was divine.

Coltrane’s Journey: Coltrane wasn’t just composing music. He was healing. According to his wife, Alice, he spent as much time meditating and writing spiritual reflections as he did composing. After years of addiction and struggle, Coltrane had found something bigger than himself. And through that discovery, he created a body of work that still ripples through people’s lives today.

He didn’t just recover. He transcended. And he brought others along for the ride.

What It Taught Me: Coltrane taught me that music could carry spirit. That you could worship with a melody. That you could praise without words. That recovery, surrender, and divine connection could all be captured in tone, in rhythm, in silence between notes.

A Love Supreme wasn’t just a jazz record. It was an altar.

Closing: You don’t need to be religious to understand what Coltrane did. You just need to listen with your soul open. Because when someone plays with that kind of depth, it calls something out of you. 

Music's Finest Moments

Jimi Hendrix – Band Of Gypsys Live at Fillmore East – "Machine Gun"

If you want to hear someone’s soul screaming through a huge amp and a guitar, it’s Jimi Hendrix's "Machine Gun." People say Hendrix was sloppy, but not here. This is controlled fury.

Derek Trucks – Live with BB King and John Mayer

During a live performance with BB King, his wife Susan Tedeschi, and John Mayer, Derek Trucks absolutely made the guitar sing. John Mayer looked helpless next to him. Honestly, if I was on that stage, you would have heard me on the mic saying it smelled like someone shit their pants up there.

Metallica – Cliff Burton "(Anesthesia) - Pulling Teeth"

Cliff Burton on Kill 'Em All is mind-blowing. He’s like Geezer Butler meets Jaco Pastorius. 

Pantera – “Suicide Note Pt. 1 & 2”

Pantera hit deep with these. Part 1 is haunting. Part 2 is insane. Dimebag Darrell pulls off some sounds that straight up feel like a pinball machine going haywire. I don't know if that was his goal, but damn, it works.

Skip James – “Devil Got My Woman”

I first heard this on the movie Ghost World. What’s crazy is Skip James plays an even creepier version backstage at the 1966 Newport Folk Festival. His vibe is unmatched.

Primus – "Jerry Was A Race Car Driver"

I was 15, watching MTV, and Pauly Shore walks up to these three odd-looking dudes. He says something like, "You made it to the big time." Les Claypool responds, "That’s scary." Then the video starts. That moment was unforgettable.

Megadeth – "Holy Wars... The Punishment Due" & “Hangar 18”

Megadeth killed it with these tracks. But let’s be honest, Marty Friedman absolutely stole the show.

More to Come

Some of these stories deserve deeper dives. I’ll cover the "Coltrane changes," Cliff Burton's legacy, and The Beatles' deeper impact in upcoming posts.

If these songs hit you too, let’s talk. Drop a comment or send me your "fix" track — that one song you just can’t put down.

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